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    The Difficulty Of Recovering From Being An Expert

    For many years, I grew roses with the purpose of exhibiting them competitively. I had started out like most gardeners by growing roses for their beauty. Before long, the neighbors were hanging over the fence to tell me how lovely they were. Then someone said, “you should exhibit your roses at an upcoming local show”. That, my friends, was the beginning of a very slippery slope.

    I took a few roses to the local show, which was held at a suburban mall. I still can’t decide if it was a good thing or a bad thing that my brother-in-law took me to the show. When I got there and saw what the exhibitors were doing and the daunting confusion of the show, I was ready to turn around and go home. The brother-in-law urged me onward. Trying to find the person who was supposed to help novice exhibitors proved to be an ugly process which produced squabbling among the veteran exhibitors. Again, I wanted to throw in the towel. But, no, dear B-I-L said let’s give it a try. Well, the upshot is that I won a blue ribbon. (I later found out that generosity of blue ribbon awards is a sure way to gain new members for the Rose Society.)

    Once you have that original blue ribbon, the chase is on. It isn’t long before your whole life becomes geared to the growing and exhibiting season. In this area, the exhibition season is the month of June and September. Not June through September, but June and September. Roses bloom cyclically and their blooms must be timed for the spring and fall shows. Yes, growers can actually influence the cycle of the bloom through timed pruning. Every weekend during exhibition season is reserved for rushing off to nearby (and not so nearby) shows to chase the ribbons and trophies.

    Every early morning during the growing/exhibiting season is dedicated to carefully inspecting the rose beds for the latest spoiler: viruses, insect pests, mildew. A cycle for spraying the roses to guard against the general pests must be maintained, with special doses for individual roses who have acquired a non-standard malaise. The roses must be fed and deep watered on a regular basis as well. As the shows near, the gardener must evaluate whether the roses will bloom “on time”, i.e. for show day. If the buds are developing too quickly, the gardener can shade the roses to slow down the maturation. This is an unsightly process involving two garden stakes, a Styrofoam plate and 4 pinch clothespins. This process is also used to protect nearly prime blooms from rain.

    Despite a gardener’s best efforts, a rose may still be ready too soon. If that is the case, the rose will be cut and conditioned and placed in a half gallon milk carton with a waxed paper baggy, secured by a twist tie, over the bloom. The rose will then be placed in a special rose refrigerator – with the temperature at exactly the right level, with no nasty apples stored in it to cause the bloom to brown – until Rose Show morning.

    (I am hoping by now that the reader of this piece has discerned what a bunch of wackos flower exhibitors are.)

    Now, I will briefly (I hope) get on to the part where being an “expert” can spoil one of life’s greatest pleasures.

    Roses – especially hybrid tea roses, considered the Rolls Royce of roses – are judged by a very specific set of rules. It is just the Hybrid Teas that I will address here, as those are the ones we usually receive or buy for our vases at home or office. The most important thing about the rose, for the purposes of judging, is the center of the rose. The center must be tight and a perfect spiral. Many roses are prone to balled, confused or split centers. When grooming roses at a show to be judged by Rose Judges, the rose must have the guard (outer) petals at the horizontal. The rose itself should be “open” somewhere between 2/3 and ¾, with the perfect center we spoke of. If there are any small petals (as often happens) which do not fit the overall pattern of the swirling rose, they must be carefully removed, leaving no trace.

    I have included a photo for you of the rose that was considered (at the time I was exhibiting) the most reliably perfect exhibition rose ever. It’s name is Touch of Class. It is also one of the easiest roses in the world to grow. Touch of Class was so reliably perfect, that it became the Michael Jordan of roses. It had to be really outstanding to get ribbons or trophies because its excellence was expected.

    After a very short time, every rose is viewed through the prism of the perfect center. I found myself absent-mindedly “grooming” roses on co-workers’ desks without even realizing what I was doing. The co-workers didn’t mind, but I was appalled at my behavior. It wasn’t long before the beauty and fragrance of a rose was overwhelmed, for me, by its less than perfect center. Most commercial roses have horrendous centers once they start to open.

    Sadly, to this day, I must remind myself when buying or arranging roses that others don’t see this fault in the roses and I must not either. I do, but pretend to myself that I don’t.

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